My weigh-in

You know how boxers have a big public weigh-in a few days before they fight? They make a big production with cameras and lights and then they stand nose to nose with the opposing boxer for a photo-op.

That was me today… minus the other baby and the big public spectacle and the cameras. No wait, check that… mom and dad definitely had the cameras going.

Point is, there was a lot riding on my weigh-in today. I had lost some weight since birth and since I wasn’t much of a plumper to begin with, the docs wanted to make sure I started putting the lbs back on.

Turns out I’ve put on 5 ounces since my last weigh-in two days ago and everybody seemed quite pleased with that. Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but I guess it was like 5 percent of my total weight. That would be like Daddy putting on like 8 pounds in two days. That would probably be a big deal.

So the grand total after one week is: 6 lbs, 12.7 oz.

I was so excited for the big day that I decided to do about 7 or 8 costume changes today. You see, I have a tendency to necessitate costume changes with each diaper change. Haven’t decided whether it’s because of my messes or if my parents just want to see me in all the clothing people gave us as gifts.

Tough call.

Friday also brought on my first bath… perhaps related to the costume changes. Coincidentally I cried my first real tears today too. I had a Jerry Seinfeld moment where I said, “What is this salty discharge?”

After the doctor’s visit for my weigh-in the whole family went to Daddy’s office in Camp Randall Stadium and met his co-workers. Stepping into (or sleeping into) the hallowed Badger stadium was easily one of the coolest moments of my life.

Also… today, April 30th, was also Daddy’s 31st birthday. Whoo-hoo! Auntie Pammie helped celebrate by bringing over dinner. None for me thanks… I’m all set with Mom.

Well, it’s been about nine minutes since my diaper was last changed, so I think I need to go… ooops, yep, gotta go.

Big Day Out

Other than a quick walk or short drive in the neighborhood I haven’t really gone out on the town… until today. With Whitney and Brett in town and mom and dad going a little stir crazy, we decided to head to campus and get a little air.

Buuuuut, we’ve learned heading out on the town isn’t as easy as simply getting up and going. I got all dressed and my bag and car were packed, but we decided it would be best to feed me before leaving. Well after 45 minutes of that, I of course, went to the bathroom.

So we do a diaper change and discover that I need an outfit change as well. Naturally. After getting me all cleaned up, it was after noon already and everybody else was getting hungry. By the time they would all eat, I would need to eat again, then diaper, outfit, repeat.

Viscous cycle.

After starting the process around 10 a.m. it was probably 12:30 p.m. or so before we finally got on the road and went to the UW-Madison campus. I gotta start wearing a watch… I never have any idea what time it is.

A nice little walk along Lake Mendota and lunch and the Union. I could definitely see myself here in 18 or so years. Class of 2028! We got spirit yes we do…

Auntie Whit comes to town

You wouldn’t believe how much of my parents’ conversation centers around my bodily fluids. What color, what consistency, how often, where it goes, who it gets on, how it does or doesn’t smell. I mean honestly, are they supposed to be the mature ones?

Moving on… got a special visit from Aunt Whitney (mom’s sister) and her friend Brett Monday night. I guess they saw pictures of me and saw me on the webcam and just had to make the last-minute, 7+-hour drive up from Kansas City. But really, can you blame ’em?

Whitney and I got some great cuddling time and she brought some sweet gifts. She also agreed to be my godmother, which is awesome. I know she’ll be a great role-model and spiritual tour guide for me.

In other news, my weight keeps dropping and although I look fabulous because of it, the experts are a bit concerned. After weighing 7 lb, 5 oz at birth, I’m down to 6 lb, 7.8 oz. Apparently, I’m not getting the proper nutrients and what-not. I nurse like a champ, but they want to keep an eye on it and put me on the scale again in a few days.

Homecoming… so this is a dog

I’ve spent my entire life in the hospital. Think about that. Can you imagine spending every moment of your life confined to a place most people will avoid at all costs? I’m busting out of this joint.

First step was checking out of the hospital and making sure I belonged to my mom and dad. I guess my mop of black locks threw the nurses for a loop and they’re questioning if it’s legit.

Just kidding, more of a formality and they had to remove the security device from my ankle. That’s all together reassuring and sad at the same time. Sad that there is a need to wear an ankle alarm, but I guess comforting to know I won’t be stolen.

Up next was getting me dressed in my homecoming clothes. Problem is… mom and dad over-estimated my size a bit (probably by about a month). I didn’t fit into the Peapod outfit from Grandma and Grandpa Stach, nor was I going to be able to ride in a car seat while swaddled. They’ll learn, give ’em time.

Slipping into the car seat was like trying to nestle into Lily Tomlin’s “Edith Ann chair”. That too was a bit big. But they strapped me in and off we went for the most exciting adventure of my life – the car ride home.

I slept right through it. Doggone it, you guys have to wake me for the important things in life like this. It’s not like I get to ride in a car every day.

When we got home Grandma and Grandpa Stach (we’re working on nicknames for them… I’ll never be able to say all that) were there. Looks like they made dinner for mom and dad and I’m told they cleaned the house, but I don’t know any different. I know mom and dad were thankful.

You know who else was there? Aubrey… that’s my dog/sister. She welcomed me with a few licks on the feet and some sniffing that was definitely inside my personal space. Didn’t bother me and after a moment or two, she seemed disinterested also. Wait until I’m mobile and I start chasing her around and pulling her tail. We’ll get along great!

That night I tried to settle into my routine. I’m sleeping in a basinet right next to mom’s bed. Caught a few z’s early, but got really agitated around 12:30 a.m. Two hours later I settled down again. Mom and Dad couldn’t figure out why I was ticked. I was dry, fed and comfortable, but what they forgot to consider how badly the Brewers had played.

I rushed into this world on Thursday because I really wanted to see the end of that 20-0 Brewers win over the Pirates. I just missed that game, but was lucky enough to be alive for the Crew getting swept by the Cubs. Grrrrr… that’s what keeps me up at night.

Hiccups and hospitals

So this is life huh? Not too bad.

Spent a couple days/nights in the hospital – of which I probably slept 90 percent of the time. First impressions of this place called world: too bright, too cold and what’s with having to work for food?

First night P.W. (post womb) was interesting. Daddy and I wandered the hospital hallways around 2 a.m. while had hiccups for a solid 30 minutes straight. Not much fun for either of us. This would be a re-occurring theme.

I was a bit quiet in my first day in the world, so much so that my parents started to worry that I was a mute. I know real men don’t cry, so I didn’t even peep when I emerged. Strong like bull.

Never fear though… I found my lungs Friday night. Oh did I find my lungs!

I think the first time I really screamed was when I was undergoing a certain extremely invasive male procedure. What was that all about? Are you kidding me? Thankfully daddy came into the room with me and stood next to me the whole time. First he helps cut my umbilical cord then this… I’m starting to like this guy.

I’m also starting to get my figure back a little as my weight has dipped to 6 lb, 14.5 oz. Nobody’s concerned and I’m loving these slim thighs and dropping the double chin. They tell me it’ll come back, but I’ve started a strict leg spasm and vocal exercise regiment to avoid it.

Other highlights of the two-day hospital stay:
- Finding mom’s milk… jackpot!
- Grandma and Grandpa Stach visiting
- Auntie Pam visits
- So many visitors, don’t judge me if I can’t remember names. I know the Pastor from our church was one of the visitors. That’s pretty cool. She blessed me. I’m kind of a big deal.
- Mom and Dad seemed quite comfortable in the hospital. What’s not to like… great nurses, 24-hour kitchen, room service, flat screen TV, not too shabby
- This swaddling thing really suits me

As nice as this place is, we’re all looking forward to going home Saturday.

Ready for my close-up

5:54 p.m. - I have seen the light and I ain't going back. After plunging through what has to be the world's largest squeegie, I think this horribly bright light partially blinded me. The flash photography later would nearly finish the job. Aaah, the life of a celebrity. I'll get used to it.

So Doc Mallory pulled me out and separated me from Mom at 5:54 p.m. A whole battery of tests came up with the following results: a 7 and a 9 on my APGAR tests. Gets me ready for my Wunderlic test in 22 years.

They tell me I weigh 7 pounds and 5 ounces, but I'm planning on losing a little of that. Don't judge me. I'm 19.5 inches tall. They insist on saying "inches long," but I'll be standing in no time.

I couldn't believe they took photos of me with my hair looking like it did when I was born. I have dashing black curls, but they looked dreadful with all that product in it. Paul Mitchell it certainly was not.

They tell me I have dark blue eyes, but I can't see them. I know, strange right?

Other than that I'm pretty much just tired right now. And don't get me started on Mom... she's exhausted. She earned it though... thanks for the assist mom.

Hello world!

Hurry, not worry

Remember when Brooks was finally released from Shawshank Prison and he couldn't believe how the world had gone and gotten itself in such a big hurry? That's me... I'm one of the ones hurrying.

I'm not even in that world yet and already I can't sit still. Just wait until I arrive and change my parents life. Ha... they'll have no idea what hit them.

Let's go back to the beginning. My name is... hmmm, I don't have a name yet. How about that? From what I've heard I've been referred by many different names like Baby Bo, Peapod and my personal favorite... the Little Dude.

By my calculations, my journey began sometime in the late summer of 2009. I can't wait 40 weeks to show off, so I'm coming early. I think a week early sounds fair. That way I'm fully cooked, yet I get to enjoy spring in Madison a little longer. Plus, I have to come before Dad's birthday (I think they call him Patrick; he was born on April 30). Yep, the first of MANY times I'm going to beat the old man.

Mom (I've heard Lindsay and MizzHerb a lot for her) and I have become pretty close these last 9 months. Let's just say it's been a lot of one shake, two straws meals between us.

It sounds like we live in Madison, Wis. and have another living creature in the house, although she doesn't say much. Mostly licks, barking and cuddling from that one.

So that brings us back to today and the whole hurrying thing. You wouldn't believe the day I've had!

Here's the blow-by-blow on what I've gone through so far today:

April 21st

5:00 p.m. – I start knocking on the door... just a few love squeezes

6:00 p.m. – Hmm... chicken and noodles. That's gonna have to last Mom and I awhile

8:00 p.m. – Sounds like we went to the hospital triage... silly parents. I'll come out when I'm good and ready. See? Only a few centimeters... close the blinds

10:30 p.m. . – We go home for the night. I don't plan on sleeping though. I'm sowing a few wild oats in here. Last chance to boogie without getting grounded.

April 22nd

8:30 a.m. – Wild oats have been sown... let's do this! I hear the doc say we're 5 cm and contractions are every 3 minutes and lasting 1-2 minutes long. There is some sweating, moaning and wincing going on. Mom might be uncomfortable too.

9:30 a.m. – Doc sends us right to the hospital and they're ready and waiting.

12:00 p.m. – Mom is gonna be ticked at me for this. I'm pretty sure these contractions I'm giving her don't tickle. We're like 9 cm and she still no pain meds… whoa, mom's a stud!

1:30 p.m. – Sweet relief! Whoa, this medicine is awesome!

2:30 p.m. – Apparently mom's trying to sleep. I'm not convinced. Check back soon.